AKANE'S DIARY
by nm3
Summary: See through Akane's eyes what happens after Saffron and the failed wedding, find out what happens BEYOND! READ ON! and Review! this is a sidestory from one of my fics: BEYOND. Enjoy!


**Akane's**** Diary**

Akane's POV side story for BEYOND

A fanfic by nm3

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Disclaimers: This is a fanfiction based on the characters made & owned by the genius Rumiko Takahashi, which I, without her permission (like millions of fans out there) borrowed for the sole propose of creating this humble fic.  Gomen nasai, Takahashi-sama!! *bow* *bow* *bow*

One last thing, this story has lots of spoilers and it may be better that you know the end of the series (Volume 38) and -of course- the main Fanfic story BEYOND, that you can get looking for it in my author profile thingy, in other words, double-clicking my penname above ^_^. That's it! Enough ramblings!

On with the side story!

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         The early morning light embraced a figure whose sigh echoed in the room. She was staring at a beautiful little notebook in her hands. Very slowly, her hand reached for a yellow pen with piglets printed all over it. Her features were unreadable, her lips quivered. She closed her eyes and sighed, opening the notebook…

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_         Hello, dearest Diary. I know I haven't written in a very long time… I know I should have, and I've been able to for the past 4 days; but I was just finding a way to put into words what I went through, and since I wasn't very successful, I've just decided to give it a shot._

_         Well, all this time, I've been in __Jusendo__, __China__, the place where the Jusenkyo waters emerge. Ranma had gone there to save Shampoo, but mostly to get his cure… but he ended up saving me, and in doing so lost his chance to return to normal. In the middle of things I almost died, and Ranma sorta killed a god._

_Yes… I almost did die. _

_I had the life review flashbacks (yup, they do happen). I felt so frustrated, I couldn't do anything other than wish to survive to stop it from happening; I felt so helpless, not even Ranma was able to save me there. The only evidence I had that I was still in this world was the pain, the feeling of a tangible darkness… and Ranma's piercing war cries._

_ I was so close to it, it scares the hell outta me every time I think about it. I don't want to be so helpless again. I know someday I'll die, but I hope that I won't feel it like that… I just pray and hope Mom didn't feel that way when she passed on. _

_I had been turned into a dehydrated doll by the Kanjakan, which is a godly weapon used also as a water key. When I returned to my normal self, Ranma held me in his arms, crying, I think…then he yelled my name and almost said he loved me, which he obviously denied later, when we came back to Nerima._

_Uurg__! That bakaaaaaaa!_

_Our parents had an improvised wedding waiting for us and Dad convinced me, saying that he'd cure Ranma with the Nannichuan water that the Guide had sent. He'd only give it to him when we were married. _

_         I accepted._

_The reason was that because of me, Ranma had not gotten cured, "I had to make it up to him" would be the answer I'd give if asked why, but you know me better than that. I would have done it anyways, I wanted to get married to Ranma, I was almost sure he loved me as much as I loved him… but then the baka burst into my room, he told me I looked pretty in the western gown (^_^), but when he asked why I was marrying him and I told him that it was because he loved me, then he jumped and denied it all!!!  I wanted to… aarrrg!!! I know I may have not answered the best of ways, maybe I should have told him my feelings first… but still, he shouldn't have done that! Then I warned him that he'd regret it, telling him about his cure.  _

_He ran out in pursuit as soon as the word "Nannichan" left my mouth._

_Again I was left alone._

_Moments before I was so happy, getting ready to unite my life to the man I loved… but he just had to come in and ruin it all. Leaving me here, alone, with my wedding gown and my tears…_

_In between sobs, I heard all the developing disasters happen downstairs. The first thing I had to do in my wedding dress was… Arrg! I had to dodge all the bombs and stuff that Ranma's crazed fiancées were throwing at me the second I appeared on Hell's door. Hell had definitely broken loose._

_Everything was worth nothing, since Happosai ended up drinking the Nannichuan, thinking it was sake. With all the mess, Dad called off the wedding and declared it 'overtime', or so he says._

_I think that I may have really hated Ranma that night. It was supposed to be my wedding night, the end of one of the happiest days of my life; and it was ruined. My drenched pillow… I made sure not a single human being saw me shedding a tear. I cried myself to sleep that night. _

_I woke up early; I had slept about three or four hours._

_In the ship back to __Japan__, I had made a vow to myself… that I wouldn't be that helpless again, so I decided to start training, for real! Really long, hard training. _

_I started it early that morning. I wasn't able to cry; I was NOT going to cry anymore. I began my training by running, breaking cinder blocks, and doing katas to get in good condition. Ohh!! By the way, something interesting happened on the 3th day. When I finished an improvised kata I was performing, Dad peeled a very flushed Ranma from the floor, behind the doors. I suppose he was watching me do the kata -thank god I did it right!  I don't know how, it started all wrong, but then the movements just came to me, flowing through my limbs. The look on Ranma's face was priceless: his mouth agape, his features surprised, his cheeks blushing...  Now I don't understand! Days before he denies it all, then he just blushes at the sight of me. Men! They're all bakas!_

_School was fine. Sayuri and Yuka got very annoying during lunch break, I was just looking at the soccer game (yes, ok, ok, I was trying to look at Ranma playing in the soccer game) when they started asking every single detail about the days I was on Jusendo and the failed wedding. They were getting on my nerves when Ranma fell from the skies, literally. I automatically elbowed his head further into the ground; it was mere reflex, actually. I used Ranma to get rid of the anger built up by Yuka and Sayuri (he won't mind, ne?); I slipped, saying some comment about his 'good timing', he said something while turning to me, wearing that gaze that sends shivers up my spine. I started drowning in those blue lagoons he has for eyes, then I remembered those eyes dressed with denial, and immediately snapped at him. We started arguing (Could we ever not argue?). Happosai appeared out of nowhere and Ranma evaded the question I still want an answer for… Why has he been following me?_

_I had to take that baka's book bag home, since he left it at school when he went after Happosai, missing class duties again… Hinako-sensei is going to suck him up –again- for that!_

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         She stopped writing and filled the room with a satisfied sigh. She raised her chin and stared out the window for a while, letting her mind fly away.

Unreadable expressions crossed her face.

         Then she found herself writing something else…

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**_Don't_**

_Don't inflict your touch_

_I couldn't take it much,_

_Don't hug me close_

_Unless you've made your choice._

_Don't kiss me hard_

_'cause I'll want to go far,_

_Don't whisper in my ear_

_Unless you have things cleared._

_Don't touch me_

_Don't kiss me_

_If you don't mean it…_

_Don't smile at me_

_Don't save me_

_Don't apologize_

_'cause I won't be able to resist_

_the urge that's been burning here._

_I wouldn't be able to handle myself_

_If you touch me_

_Kiss me_

_Smile at me_

_Just once_

_'cause_

_Everything you do is addictive_

_Everything I do is restrictive_

_But still I can't resist…_

_Although what I say through my fist_

_It's just a fabricated mist,_

_A liable act,_

_That tries to hide_

_An obvious fact._

_Look at me_

_Smile at me_

_Come close…_

_Touch me_

_Hug me_

_Kiss me hard_

_And love me_

_Only if you mean_

_To do so…_

_Forever_

_For I have done so_

_Since you came home_

_Oh please_

_Tell me the little trio_

_I've wanted to hear for so long,_

_Those little words_

_Engraved in my heart_

_For more than a year long…_

_"I love you"_

_…Yeah, yeah I know, I know … chee-sy, ne? Dammit! I swore to myself that I'd never be lost at this, y' know, humming corny songs, sighing every time  that person comes to mind, busting your butt for him, writing poems & stuff about how you feel, being desperate for his touch or the sound of his voice- even dressed with insults- being unable to resist meeting his gaze. I swore that guys may do that because of me, but not the other way around. Especially for a self-centered jerk whose brain's only able to formulate insulting words and incoherent sentences; a perverted Casanova that needs to be told how manly he is every five seconds by flirting with all his _other_ fiancés… An idiot that… that's always there for me, who saves me every time I'm in danger, and when he lets his guard down he can say the sweetest things… aahh…rrgg! Dammit! Love IS so damned blind! HE is so dense… I'm so stubborn… pathetic… helpless…_

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         She closed the notebook violently and threw the pen into a little bucket full of school stuff that was on her desk.

         She rushed to hide her notebook somewhere in her closet. The sound of wood being moved around, her head banging itself when she stood up and the following unladylike curses were the last noises the room filled with, before she exited with nonshed tears clinging at her soul and untold emotions storming in her heart. 

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Hungry for more??? Review!! 

yeah…*nod* yeah…*nod* take the mouse pointer all the way to the "Click here to submit a review" button, on the lower left part of your screen and double-click, and say whatever you want to say about my fic… everything and anything is welcome… you can EVEN say that u wanna be my prereader!!! YAY! ^_^

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Author's notes:

         I hope you liked the story!!!  This is my shot at a comeback from a whole semester of not even thinkin' about writing… anything. The brainoven is completely rusted… hehe ^_^

This will probably be an ongoing story that'll develop parallel to BEYOND, IF I get enough feedback ^_^.

         My finger's will immediately be typing Beyond's chapter 5: "Nerimian Hell", Part B ^_^.. so it'll come out fresh and hot from the brainoven soon !!

         Thanks a lot to abby-chan (penname nakigoe-chan) for her great proofreading ^_^ *nm3 claps*, she is the one responsible for the lil' coherence this thing has ^_^.

         As always, * Many heads think better than one…* If anyone wants to be my prereader (As I would surely be yours) email me at nm3@evangelion.com

     And hey you people… Behave!!!… and IF you don't…. CALL ME!!! So I can join the fun!!! ^_^ 

     THANK YOU FOR READING! AND FOR THE SUPPORT!!

- nm3

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"He who has a **_WHY can endure any _****_HOW"_**

                                                   -Nietzche


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